ISIS, which prefers to be called the Islamic State, is attempting to cement its ‘statehood’ by issuing its own currency.
The violent Islamist group says its new currency is a way to avoid being part of the satanic global financial system, but the group’s plan to release seven denominations of gold, silver and copper coins just seems way too normal and secular for this bunch.
Have they considered more rugged alternatives?
A goat-based economy would work pretty well, with attractive specimens worth more than their uglier brethren. Yet there are drawbacks to a goat-based currency. Smaller purchases can be difficult to execute while larger purchases also become problematic.
You’d really need a lot of goats to buy a new pick-up truck or stinger missile.
An environmentally-friendly alternative would be a currency based on facial hair, which is quite popular in the “Islamic State.”
But while beard hair is a renewable resource, ISIS lunatics from less furry lands would be at a disadvantage.
And so it seems ISIS is stuck with coins and the group says will soon release an exchange rate for their new currency.
We can’t wait for the first time some ISIS wacko tries to exchange his TerrorCoins at a bank.
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